vvorldwideweb:

*takes 30 selfies before deciding not to post one*

deodrant:

maybe if i sigh loud enough god will hear me and fix all my problems

tylenold:

i put the laid in plaid

image

 

torsos:

i don’t give blowjobs i give blowcareers

cokeflow:

yunghomo:

Imagine if ur balls just popped??

How about we don’t imagine that

issued:

brb gunna slip into something more comfortable like a coma

burghers:

Not Safe For Wimps

theanti90smovement:

yahoo is deleting every blog with less than 100 followers

CEO quoted as saying “I hate nerds”

rneerkat:

“our bagels can come plain” i tell the customer. they complain about a lot of things. what kind of topping is put on them, the weather, gas prices

tupacabra:

the forced laughter at a video that a friend shows you because you don’t want them to feel bad

rneerkat:

spamanos:

rneerkat:

what did the squirrel say to his waitress

squirrels dont fucking talk you piece of shit

why would he say that to his waitress she would obviously know he was being dishonest